Social Customs
As an international or expat in a new country, it's crucial to take the time to understand and adapt to the local social code. While you don't need to be an expert in every social custom, learning the essential do’s and don’ts can really facilitate your cultural adjustment. To help you get started and make your initial interactions as smooth as possible, here are some key pointers.
When it comes to French social codes, one of the first things to learn is how to greet French people. The French have a range of greeting customs, particularly with the traditional cheek kisses ("bises") typically exchanged between women, children, and close male friends. Since social cues and personal space can be tricky to anticipate, it's best to let a French person initiate the bises if you're unsure. When unsure, a simple handshake is always a safe choice.
Above all, remember to always say "bonjour" when entering any public space or shop, as it is considered highly impolite not to do so.
When planning to meet people for dinner in France, it's important to be mindful of the local dining habits. Typically, French people don't start eating dinner until around 7:30 pm, and some may even have their meal later. Lunch is also a significant meal in French culture, often regarded as the most important of the day. It's common for the French to take a leisurely break of up to two hours during lunchtime, either enjoying a meal at home or meeting friends and family at a restaurant.
Cultural perspectives on time and punctuality can be significantly different from one culture to another. In France, for example, there is a tendency for people to arrive fashionably late to events or dinners, typically by around 10-15 minutes. Locals don't perceive this as impolite and may even refer to it as the “15 minutes of courtesy.”
Learn the language to a conversational level
To fully immerse yourself in French culture, learning the language becomes a vital step. The locals will genuinely appreciate your efforts to communicate with them, and they might even willingly share more about their culture and traditions, especially if you show genuine curiosity.
While taking classes to learn French basics is beneficial, practising daily conversations is equally important. The spoken French language can differ significantly from what is taught in classrooms.
Once you have grasped the foundations, there's nothing better than learning on the go by having conversations with locals. Additionally, enrolling to in-person French classes provides an opportunity to connect with other international individuals who share similar experiences, fle.fr and Campus France offer French classes for internationals all over the country.
Join local clubs and charities
One effective way to meet people, especially locals, and integrate into the local community is to register in local associations/clubs. This provides an excellent opportunity to discover the city, country, and region through the eyes of the residents. Local community members can share valuable insights and tips, helping you explore the best the area has to offer. Whether you have a passion for sports, music, arts, reading, outdoor activities, or cultural events, joining local clubs and associations allows you to connect with like-minded individuals who share your interests. This paves the way for new friendships and memorable experiences.
To find these associations/clubs; just check your city or municipality's website for a comprehensive list and descriptions of the activities they offer.
Additionally, volunteering for local charities is a fantastic way to meet people while making a positive impact. There's no better way to feel a part of the community than by actively contributing to its betterment and extending a helping hand to those in need.
By engaging in meaningful work alongside local volunteers, you not only make a positive impact but also gain a deeper understanding of the local culture and customs. Volunteering acts as a bridge, breaking down cultural and social barriers that expats may encounter. Through collaborative efforts towards a common goal, these barriers dissolve, allowing for greater understanding, empathy, and mutual respect. If the idea of volunteering resonates with you, here are a few notable charities in France that you can consider : La Croix-Rouge française (Red Cross France), Oxfam France, Les Restos du cœur, La SPA, Emmaus France et le Secours Populaire Français.
Go to language exchange meet-ups
Language exchange meet-ups often take place in cafés, where individuals speaking different languages come together to teach each other their native tongues. These gatherings offer an excellent opportunity to practise your language skills while assisting others in improving theirs. Moreover, they provide a unique platform to meet fellow expats from various corners of the world, as well as locals who are open to embracing new cultures and engaging with an international community. Here are a few pages to check out for language exchange meetups in Paris, Lyon and Marseille.
Social Media and Facebook groups
If you tend to take your time getting to know new people, there's no need to worry. Making new friends in your host country can still be achieved through various means.
Use the power of social networks by joining Facebook expat groups, these groups frequently organise engaging activities and events, providing you with an opportunity to connect with new friends more easily.
Stay updated with hashtags such as #expatsin (name of your area) or #internationalin (name of your area) to discover content created by others in your vicinity. This will help you find communities with recommendations, tips, and insights to enhance your experience and connect with fellow expats.
Consider joining popular groups like "Expat life in France" "Expat living in France" or "Expats in France" which cater to individuals all across the country. You can also explore more specific groups, such as those exclusively for Expat women in France or smaller groups focused on expats residing in specific cities like Paris, Lyon, Nice, Bordeaux, Lille, Toulouse, and Montpellier, to name a few.
Websites and apps to help you find events
When moving to a new area, don't overlook the potential of websites and apps for discovering events and meeting people. By staying informed about upcoming activities, you'll find a wealth of opportunities to fill your free time. Whether you're in a bustling city or a cosy town, there are likely to be diverse events such as themed meetings, conferences, exhibitions, festivals, and more, which provide excellent opportunities for making new connections. To help you in your search, we have curated a list of recommended websites :
- Meetup : This platform is specifically designed to help you meet new people who share your interests, whether through online events or in-person gatherings.
- Eventbrite : Widely used in France, this website allows you to find events in your area, providing a comprehensive listing of various activities.
- Le Bonbon : This website publishes events, recommendations, and exclusive deals in ten major cities across France, including Paris, Lyon, Marseille, Toulouse, Nice, and Montpellier.
- Vovix : Another excellent website to explore, it helps you discover events in your area, making it easier for you to engage with the local community.
These platforms will be your valuable allies in discovering exciting events, connecting with like-minded individuals, and embracing the vibrant social scene of your new surroundings.
Additional tips and insights
Here are some additional insights and tips to help you navigate the process of making friends as an international in France, making your integration a little smoother.
Firstly, don't feel discouraged if you initially find yourself primarily making friends within the expat community. Building a support system is essential for your well-being when adapting to a new country. As you navigate the challenges of adjusting to a different culture and dealing with the complexities of daily life, connecting with others who share similar experiences can provide a sense of comfort and understanding. Expats often form close-knit relationships in a short period, creating a supportive network that feels like a home away from home.
Remember, making local friends takes time and effort. As you enhance your language skills and gain a deeper understanding of the local culture, you'll naturally have more opportunities to connect with people from the host country. Be patient with yourself and embrace every chance to engage with locals,
Also, embracing your differences is one of the most effective ways to make friends as a foreigner in France. While it's natural to feel like an outsider in a new country, people will be genuinely interested in learning about you and your background. Seize this opportunity to share your culture, traditions, and experiences, as it helps foster connections and deepens understanding between individuals. Embracing your unique perspective can make it easier to connect with others on a meaningful level.
Furthermore, if you're seeking friendships in the workplace or finding it challenging to do so, it's important to recognise that it's often a cultural norm rather than a reflection on you personally. In France, there tends to be a clear distinction between private and professional lives, making it less common to develop close relationships with colleagues. While it can happen, don't have overly high expectations and understand that there are plenty of other avenues to meet people and create meaningful memories outside of work.
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